you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
