Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
