Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
