did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
ttyl tear gas
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
