i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
