Have you finally orgasmed yet?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
