Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
