so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
