I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
