My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
