Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
