Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize