All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
