I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
