What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i think i have herpe
just one?
In America we eat man semen.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
