I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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