I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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