Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
