i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
