why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
