i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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