the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
