We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
