Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
