I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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