wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
