i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
