I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
