We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
