Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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