Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
