No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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