So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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