Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
