Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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