Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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