when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
