bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
