I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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