Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
