Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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