how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
