Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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