How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
