You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize