He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Who died my cat blue again?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
