I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize