The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
its not stalking. its research.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
