I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
