Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Then you guys just all showered together...?
FUCK WHALES
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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