do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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