First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
