i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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