So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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