You're completely useless in the revolution.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
