my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
