That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
