Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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