I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
