Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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