I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
