i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
