I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
