just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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