It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
