My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
