it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
