she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
