Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
