speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize