the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
