better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
