dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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