it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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