i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
