Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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